The Important Things

The important things
aren’t sitting on that book shelf
taking space
for memories that have past.

The important things
aren’t attached with precious metals
and sitting in a jewelry box
collecting dust.

The important things
haven’t happened yet.
They are each and every day,
every dream left unmet,
every hope left unfulfilled.

The important things
are the family you haven’t seen
in 10 years
or the friends that have become hard
to keep up with.

The important things
are happening now
and will happen tomorrow.

The Late Train

To wait for the late train
means your life has come and gone.
You’ve been places and done it all,
with no real thought about the future.

To be on the late train
means never apologizing for the trail you set.
Walking alone or with friends
doesn’t make a difference
because you’ve walked it.

To leave with the late train
means having no regrets.
You’ve said your goodbyes and are ready
for your next adventure.

Pitter-Patter

Nothing has touched my soul like that
                               pitter-patter
night.
I was young and naive and
             pitter-patter
full of confidence.
pitter-patter
The stars were bright enough to
                                         pitter-patter
trace every
                    pitter-patter
constellation
And I
        pitter-patter
could feel
pitter-pat
them all.
               pitter-pat                  pitter-pat
My dreams
         pitter-patter         pitter-pat
felt warm and full
                        pitter-patter           pitter-pat
the sun lamp
pitter-pat    pitter-pat
that I kept on my window sill
                    pitter-pat            pitter-pat
encompassed the warmth
   pitter-patter           pitter-pat
that my parents filled me with
pitter-patter                          pitter-pat
throughout my childhood.
   pitter-pat           pitter-pat         pitter-pat
And it was this warmth
pitter-patter    pitter-pat-pat         pitter
that I remember now
     pitter-pat       pitter       pat-pat
as I sit here
pitter-patter                 pitter-patter
and dream about
pitter-pat-pat      pitter
that night
pitter-patter           pitter-pat-pat       pitter
that night that
pitter-patter-pitter       pat-pat
touched my soul
pitter-pat-pat       pitter
and took my soul
     pitter-patter       pitter-patter
all
pitter-patter         pitter-patter
at
   pitter-patter           pitter-pat
once.
pitter-pat

 

First Push

Today was the first push
I didn't make it far
but I made it far enough
to feel like I've made it somewhere.

Today, I felt anxious
thinking I've put too much on my plate
thinking I could never amount to
the things that I reach for.

Today, I took that anxiety
and pushed it onto the back burner
pulling my aspirations forward
leaving my doubt behind.

Today was the first push
today is the first day.

Names

Names
don’t really matter in the long run.
My name gets butchered
up, down, and sideways.
It’s fine,
I understand what your trying to say.

Names REALLY matter in the long run.
A friend named Sean at birth
is named Stefanie today.
She’s no longer Sean,
she was never Sean.

Names are fickle things
created by fickle beings
trying to place meaning on the meaningless.

Names are fluid
and constantly changing.
Names have a way of being solid
and holding you firmly to something.

Names are a belief
they are a personality
Names are powerful
but can strip that power away.

Names might or might not matter in the long run
but they are most definitely important now.

This past week I was on vacation in California. My boyfriend and I went to an online video convention called VidCon. I make music and vlogs and upload them on YouTube, so I like to go to VidCon to gain information on how to do YouTube “the right way.” This year, I bought a creators pass, which is something I did differently from last year. The creator panels really touch on important issues that smaller creators tend to have.

But none of this really matters because the most important thing I learned this past week was that you have to hold yourself accountable. If you set a schedule or make a promise, either for/to yourself or for/to your viewers, you have no excuse but to keep that promise. If you can’t and need to change your schedule, that’s okay, but you need to be able to communicate that, stick to your goals and promises, and not allow yourself to falter.

When I started this poetry blog, one of the first things I said was, “I’m kinda known for starting things and stopping right away, so this is me trying to push myself to do more than just start. One of the hardest things for me is continuing something…” So I’m very aware of my faults and where they lie. I hope, as people who’ve chosen to follow my poetry, that you all understand where I was last week and where I’m going from now on.

In July I’m participating in something called NaNoWriMo. What that is, is a month where people get together, be it online or irl, and just write as much as possible. It doesn’t have to be good writing (that’s what the editing process is for) but it’s just something to allow people who want to get into writing or people who need a push to have a community to push with. I plan on writing a poem a day for this site and also a series of short poems to compile into a 50,000 word poetry collection for the month of July.

This process is very hard and very much a challenge but, I promise you here and now, I WILL write a poem a day for this site. My goals for NaNoWriMo WILL NOT change that. I’m sorry for the 9 days that I’ve been away and thank you for sticking with me.